Waking up

It's amazing how quickly ones emotional state can change. You can wake up one morning feeling like today will be different from the rest, that it's going to be better than the dark ones before. But sometimes even reading a short text when you wake up can be enough to cripple your whole body down to the floor. Sometimes just seeing a picture can bring back stories left untold that were locked away in your chest a long time ago. Our minds hold every single thing we have ever seen in our whole life, whether or not we can access that image or not its still there. So when we see this image there's some kind of link emotionally that connects causing us to react or feel a certain way. 

Sometimes its hard to understand why you're feeling the way you are though. You wake up with a smile on your face, but not a smile because you're happy. You wake up with this smile hoping that the longer you hold it the easier it will become to one day truly be happy when you smile. But sometimes it's just so hard to pretend, so hard that you can only smile as long as the time you have to spend being around other people, but even this is hard enough. The time you are alone, well that's the time you collapse and show how you're truly feeling inside. When no one is around and its just you and your mind left alone to wander with thoughts. You sit and start to question what everything is and why certain things happen. Figuring out the meaning behind everything is hard enough when you don't even know who you are yourself. It's when you're alone that you let yourself open up and let your guard down, letting all of the darkness in the corners of your mind start to grow. Slowly making its way through your whole body like a virus. Created in your mind but then spreading to your heart, pumping it like toxic sludge through your veins. You wake up from this moment though, however long this moment alone is and you eventually lift your head back up. But even after lifting your head back up you still have those moments and you can never really understand them.

Everyone wakes up, by this i am referring to the moment of consciousness after being in a state of sleep. Everyone of us have experienced this moment many times since the day we were born without a second thought. But how can something that's part of our everyday life be difficult when it is so simple. You never think to question it or think its out of the ordinary because every single one of us shares this. When you ask someone what their morning routine is, what is the first thing that comes to their mind first. Their answer could be that they brush their teeth or the first thing they do is drink a cup of coffee. But how many people start with "I wake up". What many people don't realize is that for some, waking up can be one of the most difficult things to do. For some people it's because they don't want to be as miserable as the the day before when they went to sleep. They're so scared of going out into the world and getting ripped to shreds. They don't see the good that could come to them because In their mind it's all blocked out by what could go wrong. In their mind any good out there is just a dream, not a dream that could ever be hoped to be achieved either. This is a dream that is only seen when you're asleep, but even then that's only when the nightmares haven't engulfed your mind.

Life has to be taken one step at a time and a step to be taken is finding the beauty in waking up. The beauty of taking a deep breathe when you wake up filling your lungs and the relief of exhaling it, the beauty of taking your morning coffee out to watch the sun rise or maybe just waking up next to someone you love and looking into their eyes. There is beauty and love in the world and there will always be beauty and love in the world. There are places undiscovered and places to be explored. There is something amazing to see every day but the only way you can see it is if you go out there and find it. In order to start every day of the rest of your life, you first have to wake up.